Motivation

When it comes to being motivated, there are two types of people in the world: those that are self-motivated and those that need a coach.
You have to know which one you are before any sort of growth can occur.

It has taken me a full year to put my finger on why I was able to drop 55 pounds when I first started ... why I was able to get healthy, stay on track, make changes, and GET PREGNANT naturally. And now, knowing everything I know, I am back at my biggest and most miserable. I want so badly to go back to the way things were. I have promised myself that I'd get back on track only to fail time and time again. I was so confused as to why I was able to do it once before and am now failing.

This past week, I finally figured out what was missing ... MY COACH!!!!!
Let's be honest: I am weak. I have NO willpower and self control.
Okay, okay ... so that's being a little harsh on myself.
I am the type of person who needs consequences. Given the right motivation, the right chastisement at the right time, I can stay on track with minimal supervision. But getting to that point takes a long time. When I first started this journey, I had my husband with me as I received the news that I would have a life long struggle with PCOS and what exactly that meant for me. That day, we walked out of the office and the first thing my husband told me was that he would be there with me the whole way. We went out and gorged on everything we wanted, and then, when the meal was done, all of that indulgence was over. With his help, I did research and we studied together. We worked together to learn about food and what to buy and cook so I had exactly what I needed to be healthy. Together, we got my PCOS under control.

When the baby was born, everything changed. My coach and I both changed focus onto our little boy. We became overly concentrated on all of the little things he needed. My research turned to child development and nutrition. With all of the conflicting studies out there, it takes time to siphon through the bunk to get to the information we needed for him.

We became so focused on our son that we forgot about me. I was prepared to make the sacrifice as this is our first child. But when I was ready to go back to myself, my coach, however, stayed focused on our son.

This week, realizing that I couldn't do this alone, I told him that I needed my A**Hole back. I needed the jerk I used to have to remind me that I didn't need to eat (insert junk food here), or that we should eat at restaurant A because they have that meal I can eat. I needed the shaming. I know this sounds contrary to a healthy relationship, but you have to know what works for you. For us, his little jabs are from a place of love, not because he wants me to be a size 6 ... but because he knows how much better I feel when I am healthy, and how confident I become when I am eating what I need vs. what I want. T

I certainly got my jerk back in the past few days, and for the first time since our son has been born, I really am 100% convinced that I will be successful.

The journey continues, and now, I recognize that I am not alone in this. With my coach and God on my side, I will be victorious.

PCOS ... one year after the baby!

Hello PCOS'ers! 

How is it going you might ask? Very well! 

I saw the image posted on the right originally shared by PCOSDiva. I am inspired on a whole new level. 

It is strange how a simple motivational quote can change your whole perspective. I have been spending this week treating myself as a person who has already conquered this illness. 

I am not the chubby girl looking to get her will power back (like the woman I really am) ... in my mind, I've been thinking of myself as the woman I was before I became pregnant ... the confident, in control, vibrant Diva I was for so brief a time. 

Children change everything, that is true. But it isn't that it's hopeless, I have to adjust my thinking and routine to be both a caring, attentive mother and a woman in charge of her condition! It is hard work, but I can DO IT!!! Work full time, and instill Godly values into my family, educate my son, cook, clean, and BE A DIVA!! 

SUPERWOMAN!!!! (Couldn't do it without God and my superman beside me).

Motherhood and PCOS

Becoming a new mother and PCOS management has been difficult to say the least.

I find myself close to my biggest weight once again and needing a change.
When I started this journey I weighed 210 lbs. Now, starting over, I am once again creeping close to the 200lb mark. WHY you may ask?
Simply put, I forgot one of the first lesons to success in this journey ... to put yourself FIRST, not last. You can't take care of others if you are unhealthy. This is something that after Evan arrived, I forgot. It is easy to forget with a little one around that requires your constant supervision, attention, and love. Babies need you for everything, from poopy diapers to feedings, to simply rocking them to sleep. No one has shown me that level of attention since I was a baby myself.
In addition to my son, I made my second pirority my husband and nurturing our relationship through this change in our life, making sure that his needs don't fall to the wayside. We are still madly in love and I am overjoyed to have my best friend there to help raise our son. <3
My third priorty has been to keep the house clean, something that if it falls to the side would be a nightmare quite quickly.
I think somewhere along the way, I was not just last, I was not on the list at all. When I have thought of myself, it was being able to step away to wash my hair or do my makeup ... perhaps eat a meal when the baby was asleep. The problem was, what I was eating when I was "grabbing a meal".
At first when Evan was new, my father came over for at least two weeks and prepared all of my meals for me. I greatly appreciated his help, his selflessness, and abundant love. However, the food he prepared was not even close to the kind of food required by my condition, and boy was I spoiled. Even now, I think those two weeks inhibited my breast-milk production, however, I could have turned it all around on that third week, but didn't.
Now it's time for a change once again!!!!
This past week, I have been waking up to a freshly prepared protein smoothie filled with green leafy goodness and berries, and a scoop of protein powder of course. I was so tired, I could barely get up in the morning, and after just one week, I have more energy than I know what to do with. It is amazing how when I put myself FIRST instead of LAST I am able to focus more clearly on everything else on my list and be a better mother, wife, and daughter. I can't believe I forgot that. How easy it is to slip. My journey starts once again, almost from the beginning it seems. But this time, I go into it with all of the knowledge it took years to acquire.